Ammi's first blog

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.3.5...................... 01/410. ojjjdf

that's what it looks like when you let a 7 month old bang on the keyboard.

Ammi wanted to tell you all about her night...i'm typing with one hand Ammi's on mt lap so i'll forgo punctuation if you don't mind.

i went to bed at 8 while jamie lizzie and sam were here

woke up at 8 45 to eat to eat then right back to sleep

mommy fed me again around 1 - 1 thirty and we did some laps around the living room while i talked a lot about my night and my time in chaska thus far

then she put me down and i talked myself to sleep

dad came in and put my nuk in around 5 30 - because he was awake in anticipation that i'd be awake by now and hungry

but alas - i didn't wake until a bit after 7 - yes 7 am - but i've been charming since i woke.

dad fed me while we watched crappy morning tv where all the do is talk about what they are eventually going to talk about but completely lack meaningful content

i didn't eat much - dad kept trying though

then dad made his favorite breakfast

he called the office and talked to a nice lady and a nice man for a while - while he ate oatmeal and egg whites

then dad decided to go finish the blog entry he started last night but didn't have the camera and only likes to post blog entries if he has a picture.

then he let me type a bit - then he took over

now i'm getting fussy so we are going to wake up the other chicks we live with

love you

ammi yeon joo

a sort of homecoming

Wow - We are home - Ammi is home - Petra got to meet her little sister - all is well.



Friday was way harder than expected but not for the reasons we anticipated or expected it to be difficult.



The day was long - virtually never ending - groundhog day like - to have flown 14 hours and have gone through a blessing ceremony - a ride to the airport - fed Ammi for the first, second, third, etc time - went through the check in airport process - (paid $50.00 in excess baggage weight fees) - be in the full throws of jet lag and then land in Chicago two hours before we left. Ammi was great - she didn't sleep much but she was happy - she was quiet - she was charming - she threw up on Saskatchewan (or at least above it) actually I think it was Alberta - but the idea of throwing up on Saskatchewan is somehow funnier to me - and she threw up on her parents (her mother mostly.) Then customs - then baggage - then rechecking baggage - then checking in in Chicago - security - then waiting for the flight in Chicago - then flying to Minneapolis - then...



The fun started - as dog tired as we were there was a wonderful group of friends and family waiting for us at the airport - that was so special for us - and will be special for Ammi once she is old enough to understand the significance of your presence. It was great to see everyone at the airport to see Kris and myself. What? You weren't there to see us? I don't blame you - I didn't like us much at that point - Ammi was charming seeing Petra's reaction was something I'll - we were a little concerned for her as her foster family reported that she doesn't like large groups of people - or loud groups - but she didn't seem to mind. Thank to all that were there - especially Wendy and Peg for documenting it in picture and Jaci for bringing the picture frame.



As for the weekend and the first days as a family of four...



Not too bad - actually quite wonderful. Ammi has been a pretty happy camper - sleeping well - getting herself righted to the sleep schedule this side of the earth - she has been eating well - switching formula - adjusting really well - so well I fear writing this that it will some how jinx us.



Petra has been a great big sister - Kris as always a prefect Mama - and I've been just happy to be a part of it all.



Thanks again for all your love and support!

One sad little seoul

It is late Thursday night - we just had our last night out alone on a date for a long while. We went to dinner (pizza) and a movie (Bond, James Bond) now we are back at the guest house. We both took our Tylenol pm to assist a good nights sleep so we can be as fresh as possible for a long long really long day tomorrow.

First of all let me just say a huge Thank you! for all the support, help, thoughts, and prayers. We are reminded daily of all the people that love us without whom we could not imagine taking this huge leap of faith.

And second - thanks so much for the blog responses they have been a highlight of our trip. As first time bloggers we are really enjoying the interaction with out the limits of time or place.

As for little girl...

She was pretty sad today when we had our play time today after her foster mom left. While that is ultimately really good news becasue it means she has attached to her. We are fully expecting her to be one sad/mad cookie tomorrow on the plane. Tomorrow morning at 8:00/8:30 ish we have our blessing ceremony and they put in the van and send us off to Inchon Airport. That's like 4:00 or 5:00 Thursday evening for Minnesota. That would be a really good time to start praying - a lot.

We have been talking a lot about how sad and concerned we are to be taking this precious little person and tearing her from the family she loves and that love her. The whole adoption from a foster mother/family thing that has advantages feels a lot like a bad thing right about now.

It is a sad day for Korea as they will lose a wonderful little girl today. It is a wonderful day for America and our family as we gain this amazing little person. It is the tearing apart and rebuilding of her little heart that we have to concentrate on now.

I am pondering the irony that tomorrow will be the first day of our lives together as a family of four, it will be (probably) a difficult one for Ammi and her parents, and it will be the longest day of our lives, literally. A usual 24 hour day - plus a 14 hour time change equals a 38 hour day!

We miss Petra so much and can't wait to be home to see her.

Thank you, thank you, thank you - all.

Love Korea Causton contingent.

Maybe one more post tomorrow morning - maybe not.

who's this dude??!?!?!?!

Second meeting done. Report:

We love Ammi and can't wait to bring her home.

Ammi is not so sure about us. After foster mom left she was fine for about 8 minutes and then discovered something was missing. We weren't what she was looking for. She is extremely cute when she cries, but we would rather have waited to find that out. We are holding out that her sorrow was in part due to a need for a nap.

So we are going to take one.

See you tomorrow!

Meeting Dr. Kim the Soul of Seoul

We had the opportunity to meet with and have lunch with Dr. Kim today. Dr. Kim is the founder of Eastern Welfare Society the adoption agency on this side of the earth. He founded the agency with the support of the Korean Government 45 years ago. Since then they have had over 45,000 adoptions that they have facilitated. In addition to the adoption agency and the guest house we are staying at here they have 5 other programs and sites that they own and support including 2 special needs facilities, an unwed mothers home, a school, and an orphanage for children that would otherwise to available for adoption but their parents couldn't be found or they didn't do the release paperwork. Amongst all the good and all the amazing hard work that this place provides to help with adoptions they walk the walk when it comes to taking care of the all that life can bring both the good and the messy.

He is 94 years old he speaks very softly and uses a cane. He had two things that he said that stuck with me.

A) He has had to and is trying to change the minds and hearts of Korean Nationals when it comes to adoption. The society here places much emphasis on your lineage. Therefore adopted children are not afforded the same social status. That is changing over time. The interesting thing about that is that people who do choose in country domestic adoptions prefer girls. That is why there are now many more boys being adopted internationally.

2) He spoke very fondly of America. He thanked us for the many men that died when the Chinese invaded through North Korea. He talked about the support that America provided when Japan occupied Korea, he talked about how America brought Christianity to Korea, and how he feels that if it weren't for America and our support and sacrifice Korea wouldn't be an independent democracy today.

In a time when I wonder if America is capable of making a foreign policy decision that won't some day bite us in the @$$. It is wonderful to hear a saintly man speak so highly of our past efforts, lives lost, and policy decisions.

I tried to scrunch down in the picture so I didn't look like a giant.

We are off to see little girl again. Hope she likes me. She is so sweet!

Bless My Seoul

Kris here -Jeff has been doing our blogs for the last few times. I have found that there is so much to experience and think about that it is hard to synthesize in a few paragraphs. I am not know for brevity. However, in my beloved bullet point format, here are a few of the cool things about being in Seoul:

• Last night we went back to a restaurant that we had been at for lunch the day before. The owner had been so gracious and friendly (bringing us tea and a parting gift), the food was good, they serve Pepsi WITH ICE, and we were with another couple so we went with the sure thing. The owner recognized me right away but was a bit confused that I was with another man (I didn't know Jeff was a ways behind me!). He seated us and brought water and menus which we began to peruse. About 4 minutes later he came and grabbed the menus and said soemthing which I thought was, "I need these for another table" (you ususally only get one menu), but then realized he was moving us to a better table. He was just waiting for someone else to leave! We had a great meal (lots of beef because the other choice is unidentified seafood) which was made even more entertaining by the couple next to us who isisted on trying to teach me to how to use my chopsticks! They laughed at my efforts until the woman finally handed me a spoon full of rice. Apparently they thought I might starve.
  
• Today we met Dr. Kim -the founder of Eastern Social Welfare Services (where we are). Jeff has just informed me that he is writing about that.
• After meeting with Dr. Kim we got to have lunch with him, another adoptive family and "the shopping moms" (two women from Maryland who buy stuff to sell at a Children's Home Society fundraiser on the east coast). We were in the dining hall where the agency staff and birth moms also eat. That was my favortie Korean meal so far. By the way, if Jeff hasn't mentioned it, he is in culinary heaven here. He has liked everything he has eaten from the gimchee to the bibimbap to the lotus root. But, his favorite by far is the French chain restaurant, Paris Baguette, where we have breakfast every morning. We have sucked in another couple who have joined us twice. Today I think we had no fewer than 12 items to sample. Here's to you Mr. When in Rome...
  
• We also saw the baby room. That is where the babies go until they are placed in foster homes or placed for adoption. Ammi was there from March until May. There were probably 30 babies in various stages of life and alertness. Most were sleeping under pink blankets (girls and boys); one could just see tufts of black hair sticking out. Babies, all waiting for families to take them home. Anybody interested? I don't think they will let us just grab another, but we can refer you to the proper authorities.
  

Speaking of Ammi, we finally get to see her again in about 1/2 hour. So, we are dressed up. Koreans are very formal, at least in a work setting so we were "suit and tie/dress and hose" kids to meet Dr. Kim and have lunch. We also are supposed to stay this way when we see the baby. Perhaps they think she will like us better if we look good. I am not going to let her see the run in my pantyhose and I plan to do a better job of making sure my dress stays down as we play with her on the floor. There are some pretty risque photos from Tuesday's meeting.

This whole experience is still a little surreal to me. I realize even using the word "meeting" to talk about being with our daughter identifies that feeling. But, she will go home for one more night with her foster family and so it still feels a little like someone else's baby. BUT tomorrow is Gotcha Day! We're gonna get her and she will be ours forever. If she sleeps the whole way home, bless her, she is ours. Is she screams her fuzzy head off the whole way home, bless her, she is ours. If she has a diaper blowout, bless her, (but lets hope it leaks on Jeff and not me) she is ours.

So, we will see y'all tomorrow, with our daughter, and Petra's sister, and GG, Lolis and Grandpa Jerry's granddaughter, and Dodo's great-grandaughter, and Julie, George, Laura and Lee's niece, and Sam, Eli, Ella and Davie's cousin, etc. etc. For if she is ours, she is yours too.

Love, Kris

The world gets even smaller

With no actual new interaction or visit with Ammi Yeon Joo today there is nothing new to report on her so if that's all you are interested in you can stop reading now.

We do get to see her for a hour or two tomorrow afternoon - we will make sure we post a couple of new pictures of her tomorrow - and Kris will resume witing the blog becasue I can't actually write about her without crying..

However - the world gets even smaller goes like this...

Last night we had dinner plans with Erik (speedo) & Kristin and another couple from MN we have met - Julie & Zander. Speedo was a bit under the weather so it ended up being just Kris & I with Julie & Zander headed out to find us some Korean BBQ! As we were walking/wandering to dinner we talked about where we all from - the typical conversation about high school, college, where our houses are, etc... Zander says that he went to Grinnell - so I say "I have freinds that went there - Do you know Ben Shaw, or Scott Marks, or Beth Kreoger?" To which Zander stops walking and stands there with his mouth agape. So I guess the answer is yes? As it turns out we can't figure out how we haven't met before - we seemed to have always just missed each other at various Marks or Shaw events. So we went on to have a great dinner with Zander & Julie with whom we have good friends in common and are very much looking forward to seeing them again at home. As a further note we got to see them this afternoon as they received their son Jin Parker - moments ago - they looked super happy - well Julie did anyway - Zander looked scared and happy - a feeling every new father undertands.

As far as the rest of the day, it went something like this...

Breakfast at my new favorite restaurant "Paris Baguette" (the thing I will miss most about Seoul) with Erik & Kristin - then they had invited us to meet their son during their second visit with him - which was great! He is so cute!

Then a subway ride to go explore some more Seoul.

Our destination was - Namdaedmum Market - A crazy huge 6 to 7 square block open air/indoor market area where you can get anything and everything - from "boiled fish alley" to "noodles alley" to "camera, jewery, eyeglass alley" and everything in between. Kris first described it as "the minnesota state fair on steroids." From there we got a bit lost trying to find a place to eat - and ended up in the nicest grocery store I've ever been to - makes Byerly's and Kowalski's look like dumps - and makes them look cheap too - how about a tray of 12 or so (lovely) strawberries for $20.00??? We had a light lunch there then went off to see "Sungnyemum" which of course means...."something gate" I don't actually remember. But it's a "big gate" or so the pictures made it look.

Unfortunately it was all closed up and had a 3 story wall around it for restoration - so oh well - there is always the next trip to Seoul.

Then back here to see Julie & Zander and get Jin.

Next we are off to dinner in Insialdong/Insildong/Insadong ??? with Speedo and Kristin.

More Ammi news tomorrow!

Winning the lottery

Very early on in our adoption journey while at a party a friend of a friend mentioned that to me it seemed to him that our adopted daughter would be "winning the lottery."

I have never been able to get that comment out of my head - and I could never reconcile the idea of our adoption that way.

Until today!

When they brought her little red dressed red capped self into the room and we got to see her for the first time - it was clear that WE had indeed won the lottery.

As for Ammi (Yeon Joo as her foster family knows her) it became very real to me that she already won the lottery - but it wasn't today - it was the day her foster mother picked her up and brought her to her loving home. This wonderful woman has fostered nine little girls or boys over the past four plus years. It was apparent that she loves Yeon Joo very much - when she gave her a bottle and she looked at her and smiled and formula drooled out of the corners of her little mouth or she giggled a little giggle when she made faces. We heard the story of the second daughter and how Yeon Joo is her very favorite - and how she is having a difficult time, how she is not doing well with the idea that Yeon Joo is leaving her in a few short days.

Now - someone who reads this today needs to remind me when she is between thirteen and seventeen - how amazing today was and how I feel like today - I won the lottery!

It's a small world

Two things about a small world:

One (the one you've been waiting for -about a small little girl):

We have met our daughter! At 10:00 we found ourselves in a little room with Yeon Joo, her foster mother ad foster sister and our Korean social worker. Everything we have to report is just as one would hope:

• she is beautiful


• she is sweet; both of us held her, no tears, a few almost smiles as she checked us out


• foster mom said she is a happy and easy baby


• we cried but not too much

At 11:00 they went back home and now we have the rest of today and tomorrow to see Seoul. That makes it feel a litle like it is someone elses baby. But, she's not and we know it is all going to be okay.

Foster mom gave us a photo album with a picture from most of Ammi's days. I bawled. I had thought we would only have the 4 photos from the agency and now we have a chronicle of her days before us, including those who have taken care of her. In truth, it is more (at least more organized) than what we have for Petra! We also received a framed photo from her 100th day celbration ( a big deal in Korea) and a hanbok for her 1st birthday.

Second small world happening:

This morning we stopped in to the business office at the agency to enter our short blog entry. There we met another couple who is here adopting a baby boy. They are from Washingtn DC, but as we talked to them we discovered we have some friends in common. Erik and Kristin grew up in New Hamphire so I said, "Oh, I have friends in Swanzee (west or east or north, I can never remember)." Kristin with surprise said, "That is where I am from." I explained that our friends work at Pilgrim Pines, the Covenant Bible Camp there. This unleashed a long conversation about all of the friends that we have in common because of the Covenant (especially the Cairns' and the Condaps!)! Kristin also remembered that I was a speaker at a retreat there in 2000! SHe even remembered something I said. Both of them went to North Park University, so for all you NPU'ers Hello from Erik (aka Speedo) and Kristin Karlson. Wow!

We are off to explore Seoul and then have dinner with our new friends (we just met another MN couple too)>

Love, Kris and Jeff

Seoul Travel

We are here!

Our long journey took us not only to Seoul but to tomorrow. It is Tuesday morning here and only Monday back home and that is a little hard to comprehend.

Right now we are just checking in to see if we can "make contact" with our people in the USA. We are on our way to eat breakfast and then at 10:00 we meet Ammi!

More to come...

I believe it's time for me to fly

Twelve hours and counting....

Assignment: compare and contrast experiences of bringing a child into your home.

Name: Kristine Causton -I will contrast first

Contrast:

• when we had biological child nobody knew when we left for the hospital (except for the person who answered the phone to hear Kris say "I am on the way and YES I will be wanting the epidural!") For adopted daughter everybody knows we are leaving tomorrow. (no epidural has been offered). We have said a lot of goodbyes this week!
• distance traveled for biological child: 22 miles, round trip; distance traveled for adopted child: approx. 13,000 miles round trip.

Compare:

• with both children we will have left the house in the wee hours of the morning
• with both children there was a drawer full of clean, tiny clothes, waiting to be worn upon return
• with both children we couldn't wait to see what they looked like in person
• both children were prayed for and anticipated for many many months
• both times the night before was/is pretty surreal -is this really it? Am I really in labor? Am I really flying to Seoul tomorrow?
• both times had us praying a lot: Dear Lord: make us good parents, keep us safe as we travel, don't let her grow up to be a serial killer, help her know she is loved by you and by us, make her a good sleeper, give her a strong stomach (I don't like to deal with puke), help her to always know she belongs, empower her to live up to her name...

Eleven hours, fifty minutes and counting...

The Call

Today we finally got the call -the call we have been waiting for since July (in sort of a dream phase when we got our referral) or October (the more realistic possibility). The call went like this:
Kris: (answering the phone) Jill?
Jill (Children's Home Society contact): Are you ready?
Kris: Yes...
Jill: You can go.

It sounds like a simple enough conversation but when you realize that "you can go" means "you can book your flights and go to Korea to pick up your dreamed for baby daughter" it takes on a whole new meaning.

So, we leave on Sunday, November 9 at 6:55 am. We will arrive in Seoul on Monday afternoon and meet Ammi for the first time on Tuesday morning. We will be home on Friday the 14th, just after noon; a date that will henceforth be known as Ammi's Homecoming.

Petra was part of the conversation with Jill and the first to want to call Jeff in Las Vegas to tell him the news. That conversation went as follows (she got his voicemail so it is quite one-sided):
Petra: Hi dad, WE GOT THE CALL!
Petra again: We got the call to go and get Ammi.
Kris (whispering in the background): Do you want to tell him how you feel?
Petra: I am so exctied. I am so excited I might drop the phone.
Petra even more: Dad, I licked the tears off of mama's face.
Kris (more prompting): Okay, say goodbye.
Petra: Bye dad, I love you.

The rest of the morning was spent making more phone calls -to tell everybody else that we got "the call." The afternoon was a time to receive calls -almost all congratulating us on getting "the call." A few others were political, but dispensed with quickly. I like to answer unknown callers like this:
Kris: Hello, Caustons, I hope this isn't a political call.
Oh well, they should be done now.

I wonder who will call tomorrow...